


Want

by ShadowSelene (Shadowdianne)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Mentions of Hook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 07:56:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13970694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/ShadowSelene
Summary: PROMPT: Pre-SwanQueen. Heated argument between Regina and Emma. Emma takes it too far and makes Regina cry. Embarrassment / guilt. Making up / realising they're in love. Thanks!Asked by anon via tumblr





	Want

 

_“No Regina, you don’t understand, how could you? You are the Ev…”_

_“Don’t.”_

_“Then admit it, Regina; you don’t understand it.”_

_“No, I don’t understand how you keep on destroying yourself because of him.”_

_“Maybe that’s what I want. Maybe that’s what you should let me do.”_

The screams rang on Emma’s ears as she knocked on Regina’s door for what felt the umpteenth time. Her hand was beginning to hurt but she kept going, calling for the brunette name in an increasingly broken voice.

She had fucked it up. That much had become clear the moment Regina had rose her arms, calling for her magic after sending her a gaze that had rooted the blonde on the spot, suddenly speechless at the sight of tears gleaming on the former queen’s brown eyes.

“Regina?”

Her voice broke on the last vowel, frustration coloring her vision with dirty white as she felt the telling crackles on the surface of her skin as magic grew and rose out of her.

She had known, she thought, turning and resting her back against the white door, knees bent slightly as she thought again on the conversation that had followed the awkward knock on the brunette’s office door and the gentle albeit slightly confused smile the older woman had given her. It had been too long since they had last talked to each other and, for a moment, hands on her pockets and almost jumping on the balls of her feet, Emma thought on lying to Regina, say she was there because of something else.

Ultimately, however, she blurted it out, the words forming and creating a deafening sound between them that felt brittle and crackled just as Emma saw Regina taking a gulp of air.

_“We have been thinking on having a child.”_

The “we” was explicit enough. She very rarely used Hoo… Killian’s name around Regina. Just like she tended to omit the former queen’s name in front of him in a conscious exercise that tended to leave her exhausted and torn.

Or not so much, a part of her mind had whispered, seeing as she had come to the woman first instead of to her mother just like she had said him she would do.

Regina hadn’t remained silent for a long time, her voice cold and dry before she could mask it well enough; something that seemed almost like defeat glowing on the way she crossed her arms before uncrossing them, the slight bob on her neck, as she swallowed, the way her magic left the ozone scent on the air among the two of them.

And then… a single, simple question that had made Emma react, angrily, as she was left with nothing but the same questions she had been asking herself ever since him had told her what she thought on being a mother… again.

(He hadn’t said “again”, she had pretended not to care, not to add it every time he kept on failing to add it so.)

_“Why?”_

She now repeated the question with trembling lips and hand on the knob of the door, knuckles hurting and her magic responding to Regina’s purple one, specks of it dancing just at her eyes-height.

She had felt judged but, most importantly, asked something that she hadn’t been questioned about ever since she started to act like the savior everyone wanted her to be. The frankness on Regina’s stance, on the way she kept on asking, on being there, frightening enough without Emma feeling as jittery as she had felt when Regina had taken a step towards her, the click of her heels echoing against the blonde’s ribcage, sound so deafening Emma felt it shattering her very bones.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, eyes slightly closed, tears beginning to well up from the red-rimmed corners

The door didn’t open but a thud reached Emma’s ears, another back pressed against the wooden surface from inside. Regina’s magic growing stronger, the blonde reached to one of the sparks before retracting her hand cautiously, the coldness of the metal at the knob warming against her palm as she waited, neck-muscles so tightly corded she felt pain as she tried to swallow down the tears she still could feel on her chest.

With a start, the door moved at her back, leaving her no more choice but to almost stumble as she turned, freeing the knob from her hold and running her hand through her blonde tresses in a hopeless attempt of trying to school her features. She had never been very good at that with Regina. Not like the former queen had been good with her either.

In front of her, guarded expression and telling black smudges just below her eyes. Regina stared at her. A look Emma had vowed to herself to never see again back a moment when her magic had felt like ice and fire at the same time, so tightly coiled around her emotions she had felt her heart almost bursting out of her chest when she had tried to speak to the brunette, nervousness making her voice tremble and almost break.

“What for?” Regina’s voice was like a thunder, sticking Emma to the floor beneath her feet, rendering her speechless as she talked. “For the title you almost used? For the words you didn’t say? Or because I can’t understand why you keep on giving to a man that has…”

She halted, very much like she had done back on her office, troubled expression and red dusting her cheeks, her whole stance so charged of power Emma could feel it on her tongue, intoxicating her.

That, at the end, had always been what Regina did the best, a part of her mind muttered, leaving her unable to do anything but stare at her. Want her.

“I told him I was going to my parents.” She said, voice brusque and strange to her own ears. Regina stopped and stared, mouth halfway open. “I lied; I went to you.”

There it was then, the question, the one Regina had already said and once that suddenly had far too many meanings for Emma to grasp them all. When the brunette’s “why” reached her, however, the blonde bit her bottom lip, teeth leaving behind a white line she quickly licked, blood rushing to the spot.

“I wanted for you to tell me that I could do it.”

It was a broken answer; not the entire truth but it still held enough truth for Emma to feel spent. Weak.

Like she had felt every day since the wedding, that wedding she had said again and again to be the happiest day of her life. With the man she had brought her entire family to Hell in order to save.

Regina’s hug came unexpectedly, a strong grip on her shoulders that carried with it the warmth and scent of what the blonde had come to associate with the brunette. Emma didn’t let it go until Regina took a step backwards, letting her enter into the hall of the mansion she already knew by heart.

“I know you can do it, Emma.” Regina muttered, closing the door behind them as the blonde sighed. “I think you should ask yourself if you want to do it.”

Emma’s entire body felt heavy suddenly, her lungs chocking as her magic kept on growing, bursting out of her fingers in hundreds of needles digging on her fingertips. _Want._ That was a word she had buried it entirely, erase it time and time again to the point the mere idea of wanting something apart from what she was supposed to do felt terrifying.

By the time she came to her senses Regina was next to her, strong grip on her forearm and gentle voice, devoid of any anger and only showing a kind of concern Emma clung to it as the idea of failure hit her.

“I don’t want to.” She muttered, so softly she considered pretending she had never said it. When Regina nodded, however, she realized she couldn’t. “I don’t want that.”

The next admission came as a blinding realization, one that robbed her of any other thought.

“I want you.”

And there, in the middle of the brunette’s hall she heard a whisper, a broken one, a small one, that echoed on her chest as she felt Regina’s nails digging slightly on her skin, the touch electrifying.

“I do too.”


End file.
